Relationships: Face-to-Face or Back-to-Back

Kabbalistic thought describes relationships as primarily being in one of two states. אחורים באחורים achoraim b'achoraim, back-to-back, as well as פנים בפנים, panim b'panim, face-to-face. Panim is related to the word p'nim, meaning inner. A person's face is a reflection of his inner being. It reveals his unique personality, what he chooses and desires in life. The back is a metaphor for the opposite. It reflects those traits which are part of the nature of a person which he cannot escape. A person is truly expressing himself when he exercises his free will, which is reflected upon his panim. When a person is faced with a situation in which he has no choice, his actions are not an expression of his inner self. This is the state of achor, the back. The face is free will, the back is what is forced upon a person.

The back is a metaphor for a relationship which is natural and a person cannot reject. This is in contrast to a relationship which is of one's own volition.

Adam and Chava were initially created back-to-back. It was a relationship born in nature and could not be otherwise. They didn't choose this relationship, but it was simply a fact of their creation. God said that לא טוב היות האדם לבדו. Conventionally this is translated as "It is not good for man to be alone." But the word לבדו can also be understood to mean connected (לבוד). God was saying that it isn't good for a couple to be connected in a relationship because they have no choice. It needs to be of their own free will. So God separated Adam and Chava and presented the possibility for them to create a relationship of their own free will. Not a natural relationship of back-to-back, but one born of free will, from the inside (p'nim), face-to-face and not forced.

This is true for all relationships. Unlike blood relatives who are forced and not given a choice, a husband and wife are connected by choice. It is a unique relationship that is a product of their free will. In order to maintain the aspect of free will God created the possibility of divorce so that we are always aware of the option of separation. As a result, as long as they remain together, it is an expression of their will and not something which is forced upon them. 

The distance from the mind to the heart

A person's thoughts can rise very high and shine a great light, while his heart plods along slowly. Every person has the ability to understand important principles of the ideal ways to conduct his life, but they are much more difficult to actually implement in real life. A person might know how despicable it is to be haughty, yet finds that haughtiness has taken root in his heart despite his intellectual understanding of its repulsiveness. There is a great gulf between the mind and the heart.

Our sages taught us to careful not to be people whose understanding is greater than our deeds. Not to live a life of "Do as I say, and not as I do." Don't be fooled into thinking that just because you have something clear in your mind, that your heart is in touch with it as well. The heart transforms slowly, the mind is much faster. A person need to apply himself to "Instilling within his heart," and not assume that his mind is shining into his heart without specific effort to that end.

A Spiritual Approach to the Challenge of the Internet - II

The proliferation of the Internet and the attendant challenges has come about by God as a means to put pressure on those who are Torah observant to arise with great strength to discover a paradigm that will lead to the purification of the entire nation. The oppressive filth present online is disturbing to every Jew and causes damage in every home. We cannot ignore its effects on the Jewish people. God has orchestrated this in order that observant Jews share the pain which affects other streams of the Jewish Nation and find a cure for the entire generation. A person should not be content with saving himself and his family alone, while the rest of his brethren suffer from this choking filth.

As we contemplate this further, it is clear that even though there is a responsibility to place filters and other safeguards on Internet access, and this should be done with great alacrity in every home and every other location, this is still insufficient protection. Even if a person protects himself and his family by living in a protected environment, if his child desires he can easily find ways to access the filth next door. Therefore, the only cure is one which will result in the entire generation rejecting this filth until it is unwelcome in all places. We need to be a holy people. Not just our families and our neighborhoods, but the entire nation. We need to fight for this goal in ways that exude love. We need to take every Jew into our hearts and share that purity which we wish for our children with every Jewish child. We should not be indifferent to the sight of Jewish children wallowing in immorality which doesn't match the purity of their hearts.

The bottom line is that the Tzaddik needs to be a partner in the burdens of the rest of the people and to feel their pain. He shouldn't assume that isolation will save him. That is not what God assumes. He wants the entire Nation to be complete and sees the righteous as a part of the entire Nation.

Yes, our sages taught, "Distance yourself from an evil neighbor and do not have a relationship with the wicked." However, the first thing to keep in mind is that Jews aren't wicked. Most of them were not raised Torah observant, and in our times the thirst for Torah knowledge is great. Secondly, there is a Mitzvah to encourage every Jews to get closer to God. The admonition to stay away from people are are wicked is only if you are intending to learn from their wickedness. But associating with them in order to positively influence them is a great Mitzvah. And when one is busy influencing, he will not himself be influenced as we see from the many people involved in outreach. Finally, the sages in their warning were not referring to times such as these when so many people are thirsting for Torah and so many wish to share their Torah knowledge.

A Spiritual Approach to the Challenge of the Internet - I

There is a deep connection between the Tzaddikim  (righteous) and the rest of the generation. The entire generation is considered to be one entity and that which is bestowed on the Tzaddikim is meant to be shared by them to shine light upon the others. If, God forbid, the Tzaddikim shun this role and isolate themselves in order not to be soiled by the filth of wickedness, then Divine Providence will arrange matters so that the Tzaddikim engage with the filth in other ways. This is because they need to be forced to engage with the Klipah (spiritual challenge) that affects the rest of the Jewish Nation. When the Tzaddikim are then forced to find self-healing for their own soiled souls, they will also heal the others. This pressure is also intended to prevent them from isolating themselves, and to force them to relate to the rest of the nation and assist the others.

We can compare this to the human body. If a person has an infection in one limb all of his white blood cells rush there to fight the infection. If they ignore their job, the infection will spread to the entire body.

There is a deeper point to be brought out with regards to the holy battle against the Klipah. The holiness and spiritual insight that are bestowed to the generation are specifically those which can conquer the Klipah of the times. If these abilities are not utilized to fight the Klipah, and they are not fully actualized, the Klipah will strengthen and go on the attack. In general, any ability that is not fully actualized will instead cause difficulties and challenges. Therefore, the only way for the Tzaddikim themselves to be immune to the Klipah of the generation is by directly engaging and battling with it themselves. This can be accomplished only by coming to the assistance of others to get them out of prison, and not by cloistering in ivory towers.

Furthermore, the act of isolation, of not assisting those who have fallen, contains within it an element of acquiescence to the Klipah's harming of other Jews. This is yet another reason why it will ultimately attack and destroy the Tzaddik.

These are time-tested principles in God's providence over Israel and in the relationship between Tzaddikim and others. We find in the Talmud that Tzaddikim are responsible for the sins of the generation, "They had the ability to protest, and didn't protest." This is not merely a punishment, rather, the lack of protestation in and of itself permits the Klipah to get a foothold. Consequently, the Tzaddikim themselves share part of the sin.

In our times we are witnesses to the awful stench of sexual immorality that has spread, even among the most educated, through the means of the Internet and related venues. We hear expressions of concern about this breakdown of morality even from non-Jews sources. This sexual immorality extinguishes young hearts and tosses them into the depths of depravity. It wrecks marital bonds until there is no light left in a persons's heart after he is subjugated to this contagious filth.

With the spread of technology this has become a great danger even within the Torah world. The electronic waves pierce the walls surrounding every neighborhood, and every location that attempts to remain sterile. This is extremely difficulty to deal with and has brought downfall to many young people.

We are aware that everything is rooted in Divine Providence, and God always wishes to bring us to the greatest good. That is why he has brought us this amazingly difficult challenge. Eventually, we will overcome this contagious filth and purify the entire Jewish camp. But first we need to ask ourselves, "Why has God done this to us to bring upon us this bitter challenge. Only then can we begin to understand what God wants from us and what is the manner in which we can fight against this powerful Klipah. Even though the Klipah thinks that it is plotting all that it is doing, we know that God directs everything, including the Klipah, and in the depths of the darkness lies a great light. When it shines the Klipah will be subdued.

Redemption in Two Steps - I

The Ramchal elaborates on the steps leading to Redemption. He teaches that there are two primary stages, פקידה וזכירה, Pekidah and Zechira (these are both words that connote remembering. I will continue to refer to them by their transliterated Hebrew names in order to distinguish. CL) In earlier Redemptions such as the exodus from Egypt and the return from Babylon these two stages were present. Our tradition teaches us that they will be present in the future redemption as well. They are described by the prophets as being represented by verses in Micah. "Do not rejoice about me, my enemies," refers to the stage of Pekidah. "As I sit in darkness, God is my light," refers to the stage of Zechira.

At the stage of Pekidah God reveals himself in a hidden manner, under cover of the natural world. The primary focus is the rectification of the external, the national body. To raise Israel up from the dust of exile, to return them from their scattering, and settle them on their land. It is the next stage, that of Zechira, that there will be a light of clarity and everyone will recognize God and His directing hand. In Pekidah, even though there will be great expressions of Redemption, it is still categorized as darkness because there is still no Daat, no clarity of understanding. God is revealed in a hidden manner. Comprehension is like light to a person. And as long as comprehension is lacking, he is sitting in darkness.

There is no clear manifestation of God in Pekidah, He is shining only in the inner recesses of the soul, and is not apparent to man's understanding. When Zechira comes God is clearly manifest. Pekidah is related to the sefira  of Yesod in which God is enveloped within nature and whose primary function is building the physical. This is the stage of Moshiach ben Yosef. Yosef acted within the natural world and provided sustenance to people. Zechira is related to Tiferet which is the manifestation of Torah, the open revelation of Godliness through an outpouring of clarity to all people. 

Illusions

Our world presents things to us in a manner that is often illusory. Take money, for example. It is one of the most desired objects in the world.
Why is there such a lust for money? It would seem that people are driven to acquire money because having money offers a person opportunities that he or she might not have otherwise. Money enables a person to purchase what he wants. Money is the face of opportunity.
But opportunity itself is a cover for something deeper - freedom. A person who has no opportunities is severely limited. Opportunity brings freedom, the absence of boundaries. The essential truth behind the lust for money, is the desire for freedom.
Kabbalistic thought teaches us that a desire for freedom is inherently a desire to connect to God in His infinite state. All of Creation is formed in a bounded, narrow world. The soul desires to return to its source in the broad swaths of infinity. The pining for infinity is the essential truth of all of Creation. As this truth makes its way down through physical manifestations it transitions from infinity to freedom, from freedom to opportunity, and from opportunity to money. Money, while really the face of all these lofty ambitions, is then presented as an end to itself, as if the money has intrinsic value and is not merely a means to an end.
The result ends up turning the entire paradigm upside down. Instead of money being the face of freedom, it becomes the face of servitude. Rather than achieving their desired freedom, people become enslaved to their belongings, and the more one owns, the more he has to be concerned with lest he lose what he has. This leads to a lack of joy and relaxation, and to a loss of a true feeling of being alive. Not only has the external face lost its inner meaning and become an end in its own right, but it has achieved the opposite of the intended result. Instead of inner freedom, there is tiresomeslavery. The person has now lost both worlds, the inner as well as the external. Money that does not lead to a happy state of relaxation is worthless. It is a like a person sitting along in a golden palace. Not only does the gold surrounding him offer no comfort, but it emphasizes the absurdity of his situation.

The Downside to Divisiveness - Conclusion

Certainly a person needs to protect himself from negative influences, but one also needs to distinguish between taking care not to be caught up in the excesses of modern culture on the one hand, and isolation from other Jews and lacking a feeling of connection to all Jews on the other.

Furthermore, the deficiencies of each stream exist as part of a divine plan to encourage all Jews to unite and connect with each other. If there is, unfortunately, little effort to untie Jewry and dissolve barriers, then God creates situations that will force us to unite.

Besides for the well known causes - outside pressures of kings who make Haman-like decrees, wars, international pressure - there are other pressures who effects are more subtle. They are the fact that any deficiency within one group is predicated upon its separation from others. The roots of the cure are found in the neighbor. This will create sufficient pressure to shatter the walls that divide, and to cause each person to connect to another, one group to its neighbor.

Through unity within Jewry all public ills will be cured. There is much more to write on this subject, but that is for another time. If you seek to understand the depths of reality, you will see that the issues we have raised here manifest themselves in countless ways.